Friday, November 14, 2008

Letter from a nutter

I've been having a big clear out today in preparation for my changing role. My job is paperwork heavy, mainly because I keep things just in case. One of the things I threw out today was my letter from a nutter. If you work for an organisation with even the faintest whiff of government connection, or even worse and in my case European Union, you can be sure of a few nutter letters.

The odd thing is that letters from nutters nearly always look the same. It's as though nutters all go to a special nutter section in W H Smith and purchase a pack containing lined pad with perforations perfect for ripping roughly from said pad, a particularly scrawly pen, some letters cut out of newspapers and an envelope decorated with suspiciously greasy stains. Thus equipped your nutter is prepared for his or her rant. This one began politely enough but ended up challenging me to be 'big' enough to read a book he recommended on the evils of the EU.

Not content with just cleaning out my desk at work, I've been doing the same at home. I decided to recruit Patrick to help me take the mountain of scrap paper down to the recycling bin and he was amazingly, and unusually, helpful and industrious. The reason? He has taken delivery of the newest part of World of Warcraft which he has had on order from Amazon since the dawn of civilisation.
All evening I have been hearing the clash of swords, various groans and characters shouting 'Awwwww!' in a Brian Blessed Lite fashion. What I hate about these games is that I can feel my own levels of anxiety rising just hearing the bloody music and all the moaning and groaning that goes on. I suspect half of the people of Britain are even now fixed on their screens listening to the very same sounds, or so it would seem from the news reports.

The other problem with listening to WOW is that if you didn't know it was a wargame, the sound might make you think it was something else entirely what with all the rhythmic grunting and sporadic groaning and 'aaahs'. Makes me feel quite uncomfortable having to listen to it!

And so I have retired to the relative quiet of the study or at least the room where we keep the computer. At least for a short while I won't feel like an extra who's been coerced into performing in the next installment of 'The Lord of the Rings' or even worse 'The Ring of the Lord'.

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