Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Flirting Gene

I've been wondering today if there is a flirting gene because if there is, I haven't got it. It's no good, I'm crap at flirting. I don't think the opposite sex finds me completely repulsive but I'm certainly no man magnet and as, in a moment of quiet despair, I contemplated a future as an old lady with only her vacuum packed cats for company (owing to my allergies), I mused on what makes some people good at flirting and indeed what flirting actually is and how you do it? I know women who are no oil paintings yet men pant at their feet whereas I could walk through a room in a thong and nipple tassels with the body of Elle McPherson and no one would notice me. It's clear I'm going wrong somewhere.

According to
Wikipedia (yes, I am that sad), flirting is: 'a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic and/or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged)'

So social interaction. I'm good at that. I am open, friendly, warm and genuinely interested in people so why can't I flirt properly? Having spoken to friends I am getting a feel for what I' m missing. Apparently you must laugh at all their jokes and not make your own, you must make them feel like they are the only person in the room and that you find them incredibly interesting and be touchy feely.

Well now last time I did any of those things, in both cases accidentally. I a) picked up an OAP who wouldn't take no for an answer and b) was admonished by someone who didn't appreciate my attentions (that's Wikpedia's one sided option I believe). It doesn't exactly encourage one to pursue the flirtatious route. But where have my naturally flirty friends learned their craft? At their mother's knee, from other women, at school even? Or do they have it as naturally as I feel I don't have it.

Anyway armed with their advice I am going to flirt with everyone until it becomes natural. If all else fails, another friend has advised a low cut top and lots of eyeliner.

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