Thursday, January 21, 2010

Where's your airer?

My house is currently festooned with washing. Every radiator has been pressed into service for drying purposes, a variety of clothes-horses stand to attention draped in tops and trousers and the family undies hang in a slightly undignified fashion off a device made to look like an octopus. Personally I think your average octopus is an intelligent and diginified creatures who would not stoop (if indeed an octopus can stoop) to being a tentacled receptacle for airing my knickers. But I digress.

What struck me very much this morning as I came downstairs to my laundry is that you never see a clothes-horse in home style magazines or television programmes. Where do people who live in those minimalist homes dry their minimals? Are those posh vertical radiators any good for hanging out a pair of trousers? Do they just send it all away to be done?

Of course your rustic home is often seen with one of those pulleymaid dryers, artfully dressed with lavender and a few Cath Kidston bits and pieces. You never see one with greying underpants and the black top what did it hanging disconsolately off them.

It's the same with outside drying. I've yet to see a garden design programme that integrates a nice rotary dryer or a washing line. It's all very well having a postmodern structure in your garden made of stainless steel and recycled bricks but where are you going to hang out the sheets?

I could make a plea for more realism in the magazines and TV programmes but that would be disingenuous; I'm as much a mug for decorating porn as the next person. To be honest, I don't want to see homes where people live my banal, quotidien and often chaotic life. I don't want to see their toilet brush, their temporary Sainsbury's bag bin or their washing up bowl. I like the fantasy and it gives me something to aspire too. Still wonder where they put their smalls though.

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