'Why do badgers avoid me?' and other wildlife conundrums

It's no good, badgers don't like me. I like them, I really do, but they don't like me. I base this on the fact that I only ever see dead badgers despite living close to one of the biggest badger sets in my area. Other people see them gambolling with black and white glee in their gardens but not me. I see they've been in my garden from the way they dig up the ground but I never see an actual badger, well at least not a live one. I've seen many a dead badger on the side of the road but try as I might I've never seen one that hasn't been flat packed.

Last weekend I was in Dorset driving in the dark down a country lane where you are almost guaranteed to see a badger or even badgers. Did I see one? No, of course not. I'd swear badgers let one another know I'm coming and send special badger instructions to hide. The next day I was driving along the same roads in the daylight and there was a dead one on the side of the road. My cynical side wonders whether it was actually a live one playing dead simply to taunt me.

It's always been the same with dolphins. Whenever I venture into dolphin territory, dolphins have only a moment ago been seen jumping the waves and putting on a display for anyone lucky enough to be there. But not for me!

So c'mon badgers, c'mon dolphins. Give a girl a break. I want to see you soon. No badgers in the sea and dolphins in the woods though. That would just be weird.